I'm so hung and strung over on old people and times sometimes I wonder how my head doesn't just leave me. It's almost embarrassing how childish I get when subjects are brought up and immediately my mouth and brain work against me and say things I wish and pray I could just keep secret. Wondering eyes don't help at all either. When I catch their blueish eyes, I tend to blink and turn back to reality....sometimes. Then, I find that song that takes me back and I cry so hard my eyes hurt. But I feel better after. Like, you just up and walked outta my mind...for the moment. And I feel safe.

And now I'll go drive off the bridge in my yellow truck.

I just had this moment where it's like "Oh? We used to be good friends, then you pushed me away because you were having boy problems and never text or call back." And now my energy is being drained because I'm worrying about losing a friend I don't think I ever had in the first place. My "I told you so" mom in me is nagging and there's no way to make her shut up (unless I shove a oatmeal cookie in her face.) Surreal is a word I can see right now. Everything up to this point has been seen through rose-colored aviator shades and now it's raining....so...no sunglasses allowed. I just need money and for people to stop judging every stupid thing that comes outta my mouth.

I want socks/stockings like this so badly. It's just so floral and lovely and happy, how can anyone resist?

I want socks/stockings like this so badly. It's just so floral and lovely and happy, how can anyone resist?

change, change...fucking change! It's happening every moment of every second of every day. I'm in constant motion and it's exhausting. Everyone is so fast. and so, in motion. I want to keep up with them, but it's like I can never catch-up in time. And now they've moved on. to better people with better ideas and better anythings. Motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, Motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion

When I'm older, I wanna become a Gypsy.

I'm so happy I'm home and in my bed. Orlando sure has surprises in every corner, but I much prefer consistancy 90% of the time. This weekend, I learned:

• me and my sister love Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate
• I can't sleep in hotel beds
• I love hotel showers (but I can never figure out how to use them!!)
• A little girl named Maddie lives in Texas
• My mom smells lovely

And then there was none...

I'm so happy, my brother still smells like a baby :-)

I'm done.

When did things suddenly change from childish to serious? When did getting high and smoking suddenly become the "hip" thing to do? Frankly, I miss those kid days when having days spend under the Florida sun and drinking lemonade were the cool thing to do. I'm trying to see what good smoking does, but it's really quite boring actually. And people are still as immature as always. Not that that's a bad thing, just at certain times, with certain people. It's like, don't be a bitch about something. If you have a problem, go confront it. Yeah...

Vuh-vuh-vuh-videodrome

I'm sitting in my room, eating a bowl full of broccoli, and watching a new movie called "Videodrome" with James Woods. I really haven't had one day off this week, a day to myself where I can just be with my thoughts and relax within the blankets of my bed.

Did Justin Bieber just shoot me in the knee?