and again, I'm gonna say I'm done writing in THIS blog. I have a secret.

baby's birthday

Nose goes. And in this case, mine wins.

yes HP

"EYE" love hotel rooms.

After reading various blogs and listening to testimonies from teens, It seems this place has a sorta darkness about it. Everyone, and I mean everyone here, hates it and needs to be away. Like that awkward kid who stands next to you in the lunch line and smells like rotten fish :/ Yucky. But I'm happy for all those moving. They can escape this square and be free to explore new crevices. Sure I'll miss them to the ends of my heart and back, but me being all blah and nasty isn't gonna help anyone. So I propose a toast! To those with new eyes for new trees and people, and hearts big enough to sleep in. Amen.

About this whole everyone's moving deal, I'm pretty numb. A couple days ago, I was freaking out "OMG! All my friends are leaving me and I'm gonna be all alone." But now, I know they need it more because living down here puts a whole in your wallet. Now I'm contemplating a life without those people. I thought my imagination was way to overactive.

Experience (about 59%) makes up how you view things and people around you. Sure consistancy is...consistant....But what good does it do ya? I have pretty much mapped out the schedule of the people at this hotel. Tourists are so predictable. I, myself, will never become a tourist for as long as I live. Ugh. But i'm now writing from the balcony over-looking the pool (perfect stalking place btw) and I'm reflecting on everything I'm gonna do tomorrow, this weekend, and June 9th.

lonely birdhouse dreams

I'm here, writing from the 3rd story of an semi-elegent hotel. My head is spinning with thoughts of pictures and dirty sheets. I heard people speaking softly to one another. It's almost unreal how everything here is. It's in the design of tourists in mind. So here I am, realist in mind, hoping for something dim and irregular to come around. All I see is perfect, colorful lights flashing around my camera lens and into my eyes. I can never then unsee these things.

you got those new shoes on..

So, now I have a pain on the right ride of my head and it won't go away. Something's bugging me I guess. Hopefully I'll dream the answer. I can't wait to rid Cooper for a while and go away to an imaginary land with my guilty pleasures (pizza pretzels) and my most memorable moments. I get to wear my sweet flower shorts and sport my shades and be someone new to everyone. My goal is to meet at least one new friend and talk to him/her for a while. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done.

I'm trying to crack the code which is called "hipster slang." So far, I'm just confused and a little hungry. I found a pirate translator though! Night well spent?

I like to think silly things inspire me:
Book covers, the sounds of guitars, pillows, cool hairstyles, "that cool smirk", bare feet, holding hands, kisses, street lights, car horns, freckles, horizontal stripes, curves, old school quotes, touch skin, sunrises, cuddling, James Cameron's "Avatar", Las Olas boulevard around Christmas Time, horse rides, smiles, dorky children, playing leap frog, big blonde hair, guy friends, long involved hugs, gingers, Arizona, Jewish grandmothers, opening presents, vagina trees, the stars, the cover of nightfall, breaking things, flash photography, shorts kinda day, new friends on skateboards, dancer parties, being uninhibited, the feeling of "high", no secrets.

"And when I just think of my favorite things, then I don't feel, so sad"

I'm so hung and strung over on old people and times sometimes I wonder how my head doesn't just leave me. It's almost embarrassing how childish I get when subjects are brought up and immediately my mouth and brain work against me and say things I wish and pray I could just keep secret. Wondering eyes don't help at all either. When I catch their blueish eyes, I tend to blink and turn back to reality....sometimes. Then, I find that song that takes me back and I cry so hard my eyes hurt. But I feel better after. Like, you just up and walked outta my mind...for the moment. And I feel safe.

And now I'll go drive off the bridge in my yellow truck.

I just had this moment where it's like "Oh? We used to be good friends, then you pushed me away because you were having boy problems and never text or call back." And now my energy is being drained because I'm worrying about losing a friend I don't think I ever had in the first place. My "I told you so" mom in me is nagging and there's no way to make her shut up (unless I shove a oatmeal cookie in her face.) Surreal is a word I can see right now. Everything up to this point has been seen through rose-colored aviator shades and now it's raining....so...no sunglasses allowed. I just need money and for people to stop judging every stupid thing that comes outta my mouth.

I want socks/stockings like this so badly. It's just so floral and lovely and happy, how can anyone resist?

I want socks/stockings like this so badly. It's just so floral and lovely and happy, how can anyone resist?

change, change...fucking change! It's happening every moment of every second of every day. I'm in constant motion and it's exhausting. Everyone is so fast. and so, in motion. I want to keep up with them, but it's like I can never catch-up in time. And now they've moved on. to better people with better ideas and better anythings. Motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, Motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motionMotion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion. motion. motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion, motion

When I'm older, I wanna become a Gypsy.

I'm so happy I'm home and in my bed. Orlando sure has surprises in every corner, but I much prefer consistancy 90% of the time. This weekend, I learned:

• me and my sister love Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate
• I can't sleep in hotel beds
• I love hotel showers (but I can never figure out how to use them!!)
• A little girl named Maddie lives in Texas
• My mom smells lovely

And then there was none...

I'm so happy, my brother still smells like a baby :-)

I'm done.

When did things suddenly change from childish to serious? When did getting high and smoking suddenly become the "hip" thing to do? Frankly, I miss those kid days when having days spend under the Florida sun and drinking lemonade were the cool thing to do. I'm trying to see what good smoking does, but it's really quite boring actually. And people are still as immature as always. Not that that's a bad thing, just at certain times, with certain people. It's like, don't be a bitch about something. If you have a problem, go confront it. Yeah...

Vuh-vuh-vuh-videodrome

I'm sitting in my room, eating a bowl full of broccoli, and watching a new movie called "Videodrome" with James Woods. I really haven't had one day off this week, a day to myself where I can just be with my thoughts and relax within the blankets of my bed.

Did Justin Bieber just shoot me in the knee?

I adore this picture for 1) it captures a moment in history only talked about now and 2) Me and Rozzelle are rockin' those head bands.

I don't miss anything I used to stand for back in middle school. I firmly believe that your past has a lot to do with who you are today, and I have to say, mine speaks for it's self. I have familiar interests from my younger years, but as well, a lot has changed. My mouth is still as dirty as it always it, but I have a deeper view of things and people around me (although I am still powerless against them) It's interesting to think how I would have handled certain things back then. I want to believe all people are good at spirit and heart and most of them are. But everything can change when something new is added to the mix. Like a letter or some drugs. But there's nothing that can't be changed. As long as there's a heart beat an the sun is shining, anything can be resolved.

I can't complain today. I was good..and sunny. Although my face (and ego) are bruised from various sports balls...I enjoyed being in today. I couldn't help feeling like I should find something horrible about the people or the situation. It's strange, but I couldn't do it. It felt I was violating some teenage law where it's okay to be "okay" sometimes. Lately, I've experienced what it's like to get lost in cooper city, the horrid taste of teenagers, and made a fort in my bedroom. Eh. Not bad :D And then there's always that one person...all the time...ugh. Don't even get me started. Now, it's on to...uh...tea parties?

"Spring Cleaning"

Kinda reminds me of a porcelain doll...but yeah, I just cut my hair. And it's super short man. But I kinda like it like that. It makes me feel..freer in a sense. I'll probably get some taking used to, but I'm ready for it.

When I see you

It's not time to start playing the blame game, especially toward a city with no control over it's personalities within. You look in many mirrors with many different looks, but eventually...everything begins to look the same. Men can't be the only thing in the world, cause then everything else..cuddling...kissing...holding hands...laughing...gets put to the side and thrown away like leftovers. Leftovers are the overlooked food in the entire world. These self-destructive things, hook-ups and smoking, can't fill any void you think your missing. Cause everything can be filled by the right person, or right song, or even the right flavor jelly bean. You have to let go of all those things you think you need because it's what you see on tv and everyone is so fucking happy and smiling. Behind the florescence and scripted pages, there's people. And it's a parallel universe some people get sucked in and never find the light. H, you are charming, spontaneous, delicious, and sometimes you smell like coffee. If no one can see that, then obviously they are too much of a "scene kid" to notice anything outside themselves. Can't you fall in love with your friend? Does it have to be the love of a man? Friend love is far more powerful and magical.

I need a new addiction. And my journal is collecting dust.... :-(

I am so confused. Between Him and him, I can't decide which one is better for me. I talk to Him more than him lately, and it's scaring me. And with Him, our conversations are always very intense and such. And "Animal I Have Become" reminds me of you and us back in the park. Then "Skyway Avenue" reminds me when I said goodbye to you in the same park, different time..different me. HOLY CRAP!!!!! It's official...the only things that make me happy are fruit smoothies, sunny days walking, giggle fits, and holding hands under starry night.

I feel like I lost my best friend somehow. It feels horrible.

~I think it's time for a cleansing.

I went to go see Alice in 3-D, talked about old times, and came home with Mango Juice. I liked today very much.

For those of you who know me, I'm going to do something I haven't done in years.
For those of you who don't, I'm going to do something totally new.

That smiley faced kid and ducks

Coming from both directions and we're trapped. We ducked and tried to stay as quiet as possible (YEAH RIGHT!) and then we saw you smoking and I freaked out and danced a little. We shot some scenes for our upcoming flick and I wore a parachute dress. As well, I have a doorknob shaped bruise on my back. You probably don't want to know how I got that.

I want to blast "Thriller" By Fall Out Boy and walk around in the dark with good friends and have a couple laughs.
I need to do homework for multiple classes so my grade doesn't go down.
I want to eat turkey burgers with a tall glass of milk.
I crave some sort of consistency within myself and my emotions.
I deserve to get slapped, punched, and beaten.
I have not smiled truly since Saturday.
I feel hot and cold all at the same time.
I need to stop watching you in the morning because it's just making me look stupid.
And finally,
Everyone has been so kind and I really love that about you guys.
Thanks to all my friends for being friends and being beautiful always.
Never lose that glow.

Harder to see the shore line, farther out into deep blue. I'm soaking, scared, soaring. I never believed in god, but I prayed till my mind fell ill. Then nothing made sense. I saw the rocks ahead and to the side of me, and smiled. I saw bright splashes of violet and indigo dance it's way across my dead eyes. I saw palm trees performing an opera and my closed ears almost opened up. I looked down and saw mermaids swim with their emerald-green tails reflecting the moon light into the crests of each wave. I closed my eyes and there I was, swimming with them. They showed me their city, rich with gold and exotic fish. But then I felt something weird. I couldn't move. I couldn't swim anymore. Everything was stiff. I managed to move my head up there was nothing. I sunk deeper into the pool of wonder, leaving the real world and my ill mind behind.

A "last saturday" and Molly French

My lips are begging for a kiss and all I have is my pillow ;-) It seems I've been trying to keep myself real busy, doing homework and planning weekends and after-school specials. But this is one of the loneliest times for me. I can't seem to find the motivation to do anything, which includes cleaning my room which took me and my mom to finish. I feel like shit because I see her face when she comes in here and I have all this time and....nevermind. It's not so important that I have to put online. And anyway I can't really complain when Anberlin is playing.


Sweep away and hide under the bed. I'm coming after you. Deeper inside my bristles, I'm waiting to get you. Secrets can't stay here anyone. Your time is up little darlings.

iiiUPDATE!!!

With everything going on, I forgot about this thing. Mid-terms are making my stomach flip (seeing that I never really pay attention and my grades have been dropping.) At least I can cross FCAT off my hit list. Done and done! But anyway, I don't blame the PMS for my mood swings anymore. It's a lousy excuse. Instead, I'm blaming the weather, which is kinda allowed because it's been PMSing lately. Although Saturday was gorgeous and windy. Almost unreal. I had to sit out and really feel the gravity and the force of the wind hit me to really believe that out of all this shit, comes flowers.

It feels like my stomach is eating itself. Man, I hate today.

VICTORY FOR THE FORCES OF DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM!!! Ah ha.....I love movies....

I don't care if the world ends. As long as I can see the stars, I think I'll be okay.

I have this really odd feeling that something bad is going to happen. Something really bad. All these natural disasters, and now this cold Florida weather. Everything feels off and wrong. I hope I'm not right.

Three cheers for two years

I really hate it when people are mad for no apparent reason. And better yet, they don't talk about it until they are boiling with anger and just aren't very reasonable. I admit, I do that as well. It's just.....ugh! Something about this week is driving me crazy! From geography homework to changing the background on my phone 10 times, I can't seem to get anything right. The weather has altered my thinking and mood most of the time (only because the sun wasn't out and it was cold as...well...hell I guess) And now my schedule is the only thing I can seem to get right. And maybe that isn't such a good thing. If only there was a pause button so I could stay in some time for a little and sit some hot chocolate or something and relax instead of having to worry about what I'm going to do in the proceeding minutes. It's constant and overwhelming. There's always so much going on everyone and all you want to do is take it all in and not miss a thing by blinking. What to do...what to do.....

I always fantasized about being someone different. How everything on me was imperfect somehow. How I needed to be the all-american girl with the perfectly toned legs and the flat stomach and beautiful hair. It's a hard standard to strive to. You could work out all you want, but never reach that standard. It's where anorexia and bulimia started. Women felt they needed to be skinny to be accepted or loved. It's hard to watch someone waste away like that. Now little kids are being sucked into the world of perfect and "beautiful." And parents are suppose to teach these children that you don't need to be a size 0 to be happy. Every human being on this earth, big or small, is beautiful and I wish people would see that.

Decidophobia: Fear of making decisions.

I really wish I could just pick one path and love it. But I'm always on the in between where there's these voices pushing you toward a certain path. These voices, they promise success and glory. It's hard to ignore them sometimes, but it's all about tuning out unnecessarily noise.

I can't really concentrate on homework tonight. And my grades are proof of that.....But I've been really down and out these days (yeah, I just quoted the academy is) I really want to escape from all this. From my feelings, and probably from a couple people too. I just want to lay and soak up the sun in the freezing weather.All I want to do right now is redecorate and sleep and kiss.

The average person doesn't usually think about disasters when driving down a highway at 70 mph. It just isn't what people are worried about. But I look out at everyone and wonder how I could turn this situation into a disaster. Of course, traffic. I look out to the person next to me. It's a middle aged man, holding his head in between his hands, exhausted. I'm gonna guess he's heading home from his "double life." A pretty little blonde secretary...how cliche. She was great and now he has to go home and lie to his wife and 2 year old son about his day. The reason he's doing this is probably because his wife isn't putting out and it's killing him. He hates the quiet suburban life. But he can't escape. And now that I think about it, it's always the cheating husband to die first in a horror movie. Haha. That's a comforting though. Oh yeah...and the girl who narrates her life is second to go....great.... But enough of that though. I look to the other side and I see an old man intently staring out at the line of lights infront of him. He's probably having a flashback of the past 70 years of his life. His first kiss, the time he served in the war, his first love, his first loss, watching his granddaughter grow up. He clenched his fist and banged on the dashboard..probably not a good thought. This next part was almost surreal.....He opened the door from his beat-up 1978 Ford Fiesta and walked through the miles of traffic.I heard the faint sound of She loves you by The Beatles coming from his car. He got in front of the ongoing rush of cars and lifed his arms and closed his teary eyes and screamed as loud as he could. I closed my eyes and hoped it would all be over soon. But when I opened them, I was standing where he was. And he was in my car, watching and smiling at me. And strangely, I didn't mind being killed. I saw my death as it was hurling toward me as 80 mph. I opened my shaking arms and was ready to let go. Then I woke up in my bed, safe. It was odd, but when I woke up, I could faintly hear that Beatles song coming from outside. I looked out and saw the one man holding a stereo system in the middle of the street. We smiled at each other and I closed the curtains, it was gonna be a good day.

I really tried to like you. I give myself up and went along with you. You were amazing and lovely and made me feel like I could just let go.Now, I fake smiles and words when your around and act like how we used to be. I know I made mistakes and took advantage of our friendship, but I never meant it. I was stupid and naive. But as much as I wish we could be friends again, I know that we're better off without each other.

Is there a cure for a lonely heart?

I think I forgot I had curves.

I tend to build myself up for things that are happening, like hanging out or something. I smile larger than I should and make unnessecary arm gestures. But, always, I keep that one thought that it probably won't happen. And that thought keeps me from falling farther than I should.

Looking back, I really miss my long hair. Its was manageable and all one length. Rather than my tattered mess on a usual basis. So, I'm growing my hair out over the summer and hoping for a new start come Junior year. Hopefully.

I wish I could slip into the crevice of my bed and only come out when the sun is shining bright and birds are chipping a morning tune outside. That's my kinda day. Enough with this winter rain. Really.

Maybe I'm turning into my mom or something, but I really like working out. I can feel my muscles tensing and my heart racing and It's....invigorating. I think I'm gonna run more marathons and just get in shape. One of my New Years resolutions is to regain some of my childhood energy back. Like, it must have left during puberty and I miss it :-(

I can never seem to finish anything I start (which includes homework :-O) But I have about 5 unfinished journals laying around and I feel bad because all their potential is being wasted. And, i guess friendships never really "begin" or "end" like a book. It more evolves, like space. Getting bigger and filled to the brim with stars and bright, flashy colors. Beautiful to look at, even more beautiful to be a part of.

~ Off topic, but is it weird if a song never gets old? I mean, turns 80 and refuses to retire to some rocking chair or something. Cause I've listened to "Be my Escape" By Relient K nearly 100 times and it's still feels like the first time every time I hear it. Or maybe "I'm just a Kid" by Simple plan. All those oldies, but goodies. Goodies I wanna stuff inside my goodie bag fur sure.

"Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you, even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me"

~Drops of Jupiter By Train.

Today, I danced so hard I tore a whole in my socks.

Sex, sex and more sex! What is it about that 3 letter word that drives everyone to the brink?! Sure it's probably great, but there a hell of a lot more things that are, most likely, better. Go and read a fucking book or something. Gain brain cells god! Teenagers choose the craziest things as cultural icons. Drugs, sex, partying, ill-literacy! Sorry for complaining. It's just that, these things drive me off the walls. Well, I can handle the drugs and partying, but the ill-literacy and sex don't go well together with me. Not at all. But who the fuck cares what I think? I'm just an angsty kid with a short attention span.

I always tend to see you as someone else entirely when if fact, your exactly the person everyone says you are.

I keep feel like I'm wasting my life away in front of my computer screen. If I have any free time at all, it's with my eyes glued to clicks and flashing advertisements. That, and my phone. Oh gosh. The teenager and their phone (Look for it, the next Disney Channel Original Movie) It feels awkward texting like, right when I get up int he morning. My brain is just starting to function along with my limbs, so I try to avoid that the best I can. With everything, I hide behind texting because it's easier to say how you feel within the pain of your fingers. Short and simple. Maybe that's why I like blogging so much. But yet again, I do tend to like the pain.

I define movement as the changing of one thing to another. Maybe it be the movement of the mind or of the legs.
The planets move all the time. They can't decide how or when or why, but they do. And since new matter appears into space all the time, it's never a boring sight to be lingering around. Unlike here. Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends here and we're always running around causing mischief. But, the scene never changes. All year 'round, it's this building and that. This tree and that leaf. I can't help but feel like an injured planet, stuck to face one way always. Deep endless space compared to deep endless paved roads.

Legs can depend on a lot of things. Exercise, pants, body shape...whatever. But where you take them is different. You can keep them on the ground, fearful. Or, you can jump high and soar. I can't help but to watch people walk and wonder if a force is pulling them there. It's kinda like that tube-type thing in Donnie Darko. It's fate. Why are you leaving? Please keep your legs here! I miss them.

I'm really scared that this might not just be a normal cold front. With this whole global warming stuff piling on, I'm speculating maybe we're missing a huge sign with it "snowing" in Florida. I mean, that doesn't happen! When did mother nature decide to turn things around for us? We never hurt anyone. We're just this awkward shaped state sticking out from a stable (unstable) continent (economy). What's in store for us?......we may never know.

I always feel a little insecure when I can't seem to write like those people with iron words and solid sentences. Who can "feel" what they write and can become their emotions. They become their emotions. I can't feel crap when I write and maybe that the problem. I cut myself off from everything and words seem to get stuck somewhere between wherever I think of them and my fingertips.My fingertips seem to disconnect sometimes and do the talking. Dirty, dirty fingertips say some nasty things to people who don't deserve it. But I can't help it. Maybe deep down everyone deserves nasty words thrown at them. Just for a wake up call. My fingertip[s are a completely different person, with each fingertip being something different. One can touch, while another can stab you in the back. It's all a cycle of time and thought. Maybe that's called impulses. In Florida, feeling and impulses are as illegal as speaking your mind. If only that annoying kid could keep his comment to himself. By this time, everyone probably stopped reading this blog because it's not poetically inclined or has some subdued meaning for the lonely person to decipher. This will be straight-forward (for the most part) and honest. You can read it and learn about my brain and how it can't function without my usual routine of whining and complaining.

Today was probably the coldest day of the strange cold front that has invaded Florida.

Having sex is one thing..but kissing...kissing is the hard part. Its awkward, sometimes sloppy, and definity a lot more intimate. And I pray that the first kiss is the best.

I can't wait to see what comes out of Darlington Park.

Tonight, i'm having an all night chat with my best friend from New York, Jordan Tannenholtz. You don't understand how excited I am. :-)

New post of the new year!! This morning I woke up...and I felt like I couldn't breathe. It was an odd feeling..moving forward. It was like over night I refused to keep going so I got stuck somewhere between 12:00 and 12:01. I'm glad I get to sleep in my own bed tonight. It was just delivered yesterday by two Spanish men with large muscles. It's blue and lovely. As well, I need to go "Arielify" my room with posters and crap.